Expectation
Noun
'A strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future'
'A belief that someone will or should achieve something'
Synonyms
Assumption, Supposition, Presumption, Conjecture, Calculation, Surmise, Prediction, Hope, Anticipation, Eagerness, Excitement, Suspense
I've been thinking a lot lately about expectations. Initially I was thinking about the concept in relation to other people's lives, but more and more I'm applying it to my own life. And in both instances, I've come to some interesting realisations.
First, I guess I should begin with where this line of thinking started from. And like a lot of things in my life for the last few weeks, this inquiry has been inspired by Steve Jobs.
Now, those of you who know me are aware that I'm a bit of an Apple evangelist. But until a few weeks ago, I never really questioned the significance of this choice on my identity: I merely enjoyed using these products, and in my mind there wasn't really anything more to it than that.
But then Steve Jobs passed away. And I realised that I was sad. For somebody who rarely experiences what you humans refer to as 'emotions', this was a surprising response. This man, who I'd never met and had no personal connection with, had somehow formed such an impression on me that his death touched me.
In my typically analytical way, I decided I needed to examine this response further. Why was I feeling this way? This curiosity led me to do some research on the man: I watched some of his product reveal keynotes, I read some interviews and articles about him. Of particular note was his Stanford commencement address, a speech which is notably inspiring and retrospectively poignant.
So naturally, I was excited for the release of his biography last week. More than the potential tidbits about future products or his rivalry with Bill Gates (which the internets were so interested in), I wanted to know more about the man. Who he was, how he worked.
A week later, I'm nowhere near finished. But already, what I've read has challenged me to consider my worldview. I sense that I'm going through a transformative period in my life, and this book may become an artefact that signifies that shift.
So, that's great Jeff. No, really, very interesting stuff. But what the hell does that have to do with 'expectations'?
I'm glad you asked.
The Reality Distortion Field. Those who worked with Steve referred to this RDF as a phenomenon to explain the way that his mind worked. The basic premise was, if Steve believed that something was possible, despite the 'reality' of the situation suggesting otherwise, he was able to manipulate reality, to make it bend to his whims. Even if it seemed impossible to, say, create a working prototype of a game in only 4 days, Steve was able to make this happen through sheer force of will (and a lot of hard work, presumably).
The most interesting aspect of this concept to me is the fact that this phenomenon wasn't a contained effect: the field literally refers to the physical vicinity he was in. Steve's 'powers' rubbed off on those around him, as he was able to inspire the people who worked with him to achieve impossible feats.
Here was a man, who through willpower and unwavering belief, was able to reset the expectations of civilisation, in a number of critical areas of our lives that we tend to take for granted (personal computing, music consumption, telecommunications).
So now, I come back to me. How does this apply to my life? And what are the implications for this line of thinking for my future?
I think, to some small degree, I've been living inside an insulated RDF for a while now. Unlike Steve's, mine is self-contained: I don't think it's influence has yet extended to the people around me (though I sense that is now changing).
Take, for example, my current prac experience. I've had a couple of people ask me how I can (seemingly) appear so confident about what is a challenging process. The answer is, I expect myself to do well.
I've never really had a confidence issue: while I think I'm able to realistically assess my abilities/skills/qualities, I always end up with a positive assessment. And I really attribute any success that I have had on that: it's amazing what a profound impact your state of mind has on the way you live.
And so, I expect to do well. And I do. My belief in myself results in success, which feeds my belief. It's a positive cycle of positivity.
That doesn't mean that everything I do works perfectly. I wasn't absolutely confident in my recent marking of assessment, and while I won't go into too much detail for privacy reasons, I ended up marking slightly too harshly across the board.
The important thing to note here is that I did not walk into that experience expecting to be perfect. Rather, I do expect to fail on occasion: we all do it, and I don't think that I'm so special as to be immune to failures. The fact that I expect to fail occasionally allows me to respond to those situations positively: rather than getting bogged down in what I haven't done wrong, I tend to have an expectation that I must find a 'lesson' from the experience: you can never fail if you learn something new.
This is already incredibly long, so I'll cut this off before I delve too far into the future. Needless to say, coming to this realisation has allowed me to re-evaluate what I want to achieve in the future, and how I might go about that. It's also strengthened my resolve to harness my so-called 'powers' for good.
Expectations. For some people, these are crippling weights that crush them, like a metaphorical anvil crashing down from above. For me, I expect gravity to work in reverse.
